Mr. Fox and his cohorts break into the cellar and look over thousands of beautiful cider bottles.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
This is some of the strongest, finest alcoholic cider money can buy, or that can even be stolen. It burns in your throat, boils in your stomach, tastes almost exactly like pure, melted gold.
(A LOUD SNAP)
RAT: (reclining on a shelf, smoking a cigarette)
Y’all are trespassing now, illegally. (takes a drink of cider from a straw) ‘Round these parts we don’t take kindly to cider poachers.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
You’ve aged badly, Rat.
RAT:
You gettin’ a little long in the tooth yourself, partner.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX: (noticing the Rat’s badge)
“Bean Security”, what, why are you wearing that badge? What is it?
RAT:
It’s—my job. (flips himself into a standing position, does martial arts moves and flips over ready to fight, then flicks open a switchblade). How’s your old lady doin’?
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
You refer to—my wife? (they jockey for fighting position)
RAT:
She was the town tart in her day. Wild and footloose ‘n (snaps) pretty as a mink stole.
OPOSSUM: (hiding)
Is that true?
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
Of course not. I mean, certainly she lived, we all did. It was a different time. Lets not use a double standard, she marched against—
OPOSSUM:
But town tart?
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
Shut up.
(The RAT lunges at Mr. Fox with the switchblade, but misses as Mr. Fox dodges out of the way with a deft move.)
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
That was close, Rat, be careful.
RAT:
Oh, I’m as careful as a—
(The cellar door flies open, and they all freeze. Mrs. Bean descends the cellar staircase. Rat is quickly shoved into an apple bin by Fox and co. and the cover slammed shut over him. Mr. Fox and his cohorts hide.)
END SCENE
(Much later)
SCENE — AN UNDERGROUND SEWER BENEATH BEAN & CO.’S FARMS (OR SOMEWHERE THEREOF)
A group of Animals—friends of the Fox family—search for Christoph, Mr. Fox’s nephew, who has been captured by Mr. Bean and the Farmers. The Rat suddenly appears and surprises the group.
RAT:
They got the boy. (snaps his fingers) They want to trade the son for his papa. (he tosses them a ransom letter)
BADGER:
(reading)
Why did they write this in letters cut out of magazines?
OPOSSUM:
To protect their identities! Oh, right, but then, why did they sign their names? Plus we already knew who they were because they’re trying to kill us.
BADGER: (reading)
“Mr. Fox, we have your son. If you ever want to see him alive again—”
ASH FOX: (Mr. Fox’s son, appearing from the darkness)
You took the wrong fox. I’m his son.
RAT:
I can see the resemblance. (Gives a judo scream and stance, moving to the boy.)
CUT TO:
SCENE — OUTDOOR EXIT HOLE FROM SEWERS
Mr. Fox is preparing to turn himself in to the Farmers when he hears what sounds like his son’s scream bellowing through the sewers.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
What was that?
He hears a faint cry that sounds like, “Dad!”.
CUT TO:
SCENE — THE UNDERGROUND SEWER
The Rat tosses young Ash against a far wall then runs across the room and does elaborate martial arts moves. He snaps his fingers a couple of times, grabs a potato sack, and sinisterly marches off towards the boy doing a “West Side Story” snapping dance.
ASH FOX:
Aw, man, come on! Stop!
As the Rat steps up to bag little Ash, Mrs. Fox appears out of nowhere behind him, grabs the Rat by the shoulders, and throws him into the air tossing him to the ground. She pulls out a long, thick chain and snaps it in front of her.
RAT: (lying on the ground)
Woooohooo! Look at you, girl! (he kicks himself off the ground and up into a fighting stance) You’re still as fine looking as a creme brulee!
MRS. FOX:
Am I being flirted with by a psychotic rat?
The Rat kicks his switchblade out of his back pocket, catches it, and then lunges at Mrs. Fox, easily knocking her out of the way, then busts his way past another animal trying to shield the boy, Ash. The Rat tosses little Ash into the potato sack and is about to run off when there is a loud sound behind all of them. Out of the darkness appears Mr. Fox.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
Excuse me — may I... cut in?
The Rat kicks the others away, grabs the sack with Ash in it, and lunges at Mr. Fox, forcing the two to fight in a darkened corridor labeled with electricity warnings reading “DANGER OF DEATH”. The two battle ferociously as electricity flashes around them. Mr. Fox overcomes the Rat, who is slammed against one of the electrical walls and electrocuted.
Mr. Fox frees his son from the potato sack, checks that he’s safe, and pats him on the shoulder. He runs back over to the Rat, who is on the ground dying.
RAT: (dying)
The boy (Fox’s nephew) is locked in an apple crate on top of a gun locker in the attic of Bean annex.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
Would you have told me if I didn’t kill you first?
RAT:
Nev-ah.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
All these wasted years. What were you looking for, Rat?
ASH FOX:
He’s trying to say something, dad.
RAT:
Ci-cider.
Mr. Fox looks at the dying Rat. He cups his hands and reaches over and scoops up a handful of black sludge from the alley ground.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
Here you are, Rat. A beaker of Bean’s finest secret cider.
RAT: (licks the sludge from Mr. Fox’s hands)
Like… melted gold. (he dies)
ASH FOX:
He redeemed himself.
FANTASTIC MR. FOX:
Redemption? Sure. But in the end he’s just another dead rat in the garbage pail behind a Chinese restaurant.
Mr. Fox places the Rat’s body in a dirty stream, and the body floats away.
END SCENE
